Some days are diamonds!

We made it ...Graduation 2012



 When I first started writing my blog, initially it was a way to share information about my rare cancer with family, friends, and co-workers. I had no idea how sharing my un-edited self would help me deal with this disease. What surprised me even more was how others have been interested in what I have to say. I am incredibly grateful for the amazing support this blog has provided me. I am pleasantly surprised and thankful that the blog is being seen literally around the world. Currently there are views from Germany, United Kingdom, Canada, Russia, Australia, Philippines, Japan, Latvia, United Arab Emirates, Honduras, Greece, Guatemala, Malasia, Ukraine and France! Wow!


I am still fighting symptoms, but I met another goal. I was able to return to work! What a sense of accomplishment for me. I felt like I had given Cancer another swift kick with a message: Still fighting...and still winning!

So happy to have Mana here.

Joseph Campbell said "Life is without meaning. You bring meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning." "Meaning" to my life comes in so many different ways; hugs from the nurses (friends...sisters) that I work with, moments with my children... like when my son Jordan said, (when asked how he was dealing with things) "My Mom is like my best friend, and if something happened to her, I don't know what I'd do"...slowly those worried faces are smiling more. Perhaps the greatest testament to my life is the fact that I can take a breath, that I am smiling and have lived to see the depth of love and care that I have been shown by so many. Hope always lived inside me, but in all of you it found it's wings.

Sometimes I feel like I hear a kitchen timer in my heart, ticking down the days - hours - seconds until my next surgery, or MRI, or CT, or OS - or any other medical acronym that brings with it paper gowns and poisoned injections. My younger body was riddled with scars. I was always active riding horses or building pyramids in cheerleading. Most of them are at least 25 years old and have faded so they aren't noticeable. Now my body has a new scar. It's a strange alien-like thumbprint from my sternum to my pubic bone. To an outsider, the scar may not seem like much -- but for me, it has some strange mystical power. It's a reminder of how my body was taken from me for a while. I still haven't gotten it all back, but I'm making progress. My most recent scans revealed a place in my right lung and another in my colon. I return to Ocshner in July.


Every day my energy and passion are restored
My hope, renewed and replenished.
I'll keep moving forward, until it is finished.
Keep on fighting until there's a cure, 
for me there is only one answer...
To live in a world where no one hears, the words...   "you have cancer".

These Days...

That's the container that holds the syringe, used to protect everyone from the solution inside it.
But then they inject that into me!

Eat nothing for 15 hours... now drink these warm cocktails made just for you. Bottoms up!

Those square things rotate and stay about a half inch away from your body for about 2 hours. While you lay perfectly still. Imagine how your nose itches when you can't scratch it! Not to mention, when you become the sandwich, no one wants to hear that the machine has been getting stuck.

All this in one day! Day two is more of the same! And then those days determining the next day!



I am feeling better every day. I continue to fight symptoms. I thank God for the many mercies and the rich blessings of life. I am gracious to have received both. My life is delightfully rich made so by all of you. You are the rare steel magnolias. The survivors of a disease that discriminates not against any race, religion, gender or age. It cares not what you wanted to do today or what you had planned for your future. It strikes and there is you, feeling the weight of uncertainty of what-if's but then suddenly there are those who rally around to say, when you need to cry, I'm here, when you're scared to death, take my hand I'll lead you through it. Because as optimistic as one wants to be, those days come. Those moments dawn in your life and every prayer counts, every remembrance of me, and others who have a difficult path... you are heard, it matters, and you make all the difference in the world.