Cancer takes things away from you at times when you... have other plans. There are those times when the dark skies are threatening rain, even though you've planned the most perfect picnic day. Worse, when you have something you've really looked forward to and that day, you wake up sick.
But this was a day all set aside for Cancer! A whole day for the thing that invaded my life and would will to take it. But this day, I didn't feel bad. I felt good. And any day that you feel good, you want to live it!
So!!! I surprised cancer once again. A day cancer thought it had me for sure...I changed my mind!!! and changed my plans!!!
I did go to my oncologists office later that day to explain myself. And while she looked at me, puzzled, she responded with, "That's ok, we will reschedule... but I need to draw your tumor markers before you go."
I skipped to the lab, gave my blood sacrifice, and drove home.
I still felt good. I had a great day. I enjoyed being with my family...I sat with on the porch and laughed over tea.
Days pass and then results were in!
Tumor Markers Elevated.
I've spent some time listening. Listening for that still small voice to tell me what to do. What the next move is, the next doctor to trust. I've been raised in generations of doctors, I have a special place for them. But I realize, maybe at times more than they do, that they are human just like me. To trust them... with my life, would be to trust in vain. My trust is in the Lord. The One who created the doctor and gave him the passion to cure.
I am reminded today of something my doctor in Louisiana said. "This isn't a race ... I'm not just running for cancer... I'll crawl for a cure."
I have given up alot already to this disease. The one thing I refuse to do, is to give up my good days. Today I laughed watching old home movies of the boys. Watching turtles eat worms and seeing those little boy faces, hearing those precious voices...those were good times. Watching the boys laugh at themselves made today a good day.
I refuse to race through my life. I want to take my time, in whatever quantity, and soak it up. I want to remember to treasure all those moments. So that on that "sick" day, I can think about those good times and what I have to look forward too.
When you have a diagnosis of cancer, quickly cancers voice can be very loud, drowning out sometimes even your own. There is a moment when you reclaim it. When it's time to turn down the volume and talk back. Some days you need to reschedule and take that time to enjoy the life that is yours.
I refuse to race through my life. I want to take my time, in whatever quantity, and soak it up. I want to remember to treasure all those moments. So that on that "sick" day, I can think about those good times and what I have to look forward too.
When you have a diagnosis of cancer, quickly cancers voice can be very loud, drowning out sometimes even your own. There is a moment when you reclaim it. When it's time to turn down the volume and talk back. Some days you need to reschedule and take that time to enjoy the life that is yours.
I am really excited about an event I've been asked to be apart of. A calendar to raise awareness is being created. Women with all types of cancers, at all stages of life, are being featured. The proceeds from the calendar will go to cancer research and to aid families with expenses. I will be photographed and interviewed later this month. I am honored and excited.
