Doctors are good at saving lives, unfortunately they just aren't very good at improving the quality of life for chronic conditions. After awhile, you go crazy looking at lab results, survival rates, symptom percentages; none of these numbers unlock any absolutes. When you have a rare cancer, it's largely guesswork-- and you hope your doctor is a good guesser.
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. - Barbara Kingsolver
While I am realistic about future complications, hope, is in the end, what gets me through, and makes the fight worthwhile.
To use the analogy of an onion...it's not until you peel back the layers... exposing the core... that your eyes begin to water and you feel that lump in your throat.
It's the same with life struggles. We all have them, just different stories,,, individual details,,, that at the core, help us to realize that who we are and what we are made of... continues to be peeled away (if we dare to look) and the hope of feeling better, coping better, and being better is always at the core.
The body and the mind are inextricably connected; and the value of being loved can not be underestimated in a fight with elusive, rare cancers. I am reminded of the love and support of family and friends that continues to renew my strength. Thank YOU. Zebra hugs!!!
I received a card from the Cane River Artists, of which my Mother is a member. It said...
Butterflys:
You have GOT to admire them -- setting off on a journey of no less than a thousand miles on only a wing and a prayer...yet they make it...
So will I.
There continue to be epic battles that no one is prepared to face, that no one wants to endure, yet I survive, never give up, never give in. A trait that, for those who know me personally, runs to the core of my existence.
Someone once said "To love a person is to learn the song that is their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten. Recently, a dear friend shared with me a story. A friend of her husband diagnosed with cancer wanted to go fishing. Her husband decided that the chores of life could wait, and that he would be there for his friend. While fishing, they met someone who after hearing the diagnosis asked if he could pray with them. After the prayer, he said to both gentlemen, "You did not pass this way by chance." Tears rolled and I spent the next few minutes in my friends arms. I knew, that cancer did not come into my life by chance either. When I discuss the reality that there is no cure for carcinoid cancer, I also want people to know that I believe in an Almighty God who is always faithful. That day He was faithful to me and placed my friend in a perfect place... and at a perfect time... to remind me of what I had temporarily forgotten. We are all in the hands of a God who loves us, who guides the details of our lives. He is Faithful. His love for us in not grounded in how we feel, nor in our performance, and not even in our love for Him. His love is grounded in His own faithfulness.
 |
| I actually laughed when I saw this picture. I've never really been able to hide what I was thinking. Here, I had just been told that I was going to need to take a break and heal...Again!
While I am healing from a recent bout with pneumonia, I am thankful that with God I have the ability to handle this.
His Love extends deeper than anything I feel,
His Word is truer than anything I experience,
His Strength, more powerful that any circumstance I will ever face.
|
