He is the Potter, I am the Clay

According to my doctors, I am running about 2 weeks ahead of schedule. According to me, I am about 2 weeks behind where I'd like to be. Guess that means I am right where I should be! Wow... how wonderful to be right where God wants you. I'll be the first to stand up and admit, I'm not always, haven't been always, and never will always, be right on the path that God desires for me. But it sure is a good feeling inside when you know you are right where He's led you. What a blessing. It happened to me when I held my sons for the first time. The day I embraced my Maw-Maw like it was the last time ... because it was. The day I realized the depth of my Mother's love for me, and knew that in her arms was the safest place in the world. As weak as I feel, as difficult the pain, as horrifying the appearance in the mirror, I feel content with knowing He's concerned, He's here, I'm stronger because of cancer. 


My face has been smiling at full capacity this past couple weeks. My baby... Jordan turned 14. My first born... Austin ran and finished the Mercedes Marathon. Both achievements left me with a heart of gratitude. How awesome to be alive. To be able to see the achievements of my children. There hugs have never felt better. There smiles have never brightened my day more. I am a new person because of cancer.


I continue to receive notes and messages that uplift me daily from all of you. I really never knew how many friends I had. I regret that many people really never know how they are cared for. Some walk through life feeling so lonely and as a result...empty. The old adage "Don't wait till the funeral to send the flowers"... I am more whole and more thankful because of cancer.


I'm stronger, I'm a new person, I'm more whole and more thankful from a disease that in moments brings you to your weakest, not yourself, your most broken and at times bitter.


This is more than a race to finish ... it's a daily ...no, it's a moment to moment journey, into the most vulnerable parts of humanity. I am where God wants me to be. 


He is the potter, I am the clay, 
He molds and He makes me better every day.
With Him on my side, I've nothing to fear,
I rest in His arms, He catches my tears.
He knew what October would bring in my life,
He guided the surgeons who would hold the knife.
He placed in my path the people who'd care,
Those to remind me they'd always be there.
I'll fight cancer with mind, body and soul, standing boldly, for it is His hand I hold.

Austin ran the Mercedes Benz marathon, 26.2 miles, in just over 4 hours. He finished...so will I.

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