If our God is for us, then what could ever stop us...

Little Friends to Keep Me Company

Coming home, seeing my boys for the first time in weeks, and then taking a look at myself in the mirror...  I decided to look past the not so pleasing exterior and look deeper at what I had learned about the person starring back at me. I took a moment to remember defining moments of this experience. I hope to write about many of them, I want to share each step with all of you. But some of this, quite frankly is to fresh, to raw, to even relive for long enough to write it down right now. So many times in life we go through the motions. When we see others go through hard times, even tragedies, we ask, How do you do it? The response is often, "you do what you have to do". I believe that we navigate the journey of pain, of unknowns, of hardship, by sometimes doing just that. We don't really think about it, we just do it. For me, while I have been aware of the obstacles that cancer placed in my path, and while I decided consciously to fight it, coming home in some way made it... reality. This had happened to me and I had beaten it! It was a moment when my conscious and that phenomenon where you are sort of outside your body looking in, were completely united. I was humbled and proud. 


We all face troubled times. Consider what Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This was what got me through. I didn't throw my hands up shouting, what's the use...I can't beat this thing... too much to endure. I didn't roll over, pull covers up over my head and tell the world to kiss the moon. I with the rest of my "herd" decided to embrace this zebra cancer and run the race to win. There are always troubles in this life and the question is what kind of person are you. A "roll over and quit" person, a "go through the motions" person, or do you expect a victory, a success, a triumphant outcome to whatever you are facing? 


Cancer had always been a bad word, that had affected me, but hadn't attacked me personally. My strongest and most bitter taste had been watching its effects on my grandmother. Maw-Maw fought too. I can't help but believe that she has also been one that I have tagged when I needed a time-out from wrestling. Cancer is a strong opponent... but I've made up my mind and I will not be defeated. I CAN do all things, through CHRIST, who strengthens me. I am not going down, I am going up and coming through. I feel stronger everyday. I walk further everyday. I have fewer days when in bed or in the bathroom! 


I am walking in perfect peace. I know that while cancer is life changing, it does not define who I am. I have joy and a fervor for life that is deeper than I have ever had. From Steel Magnolias, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" well... I am... stronger than ever!

Weeping may endure for a night, but the morning will bring joy... I am winning this war.

Going back to Ocshner next week. As always, thanks for reading and thank you for your prayers.